Here are the best strategies I have for loving your home just as it is:
1.
Appreciate the ‘very big picture’ thought that you have a safe and warm home. This is your place to live life with your people. It shelters you and keeps you together. Let that sink in.
2.
Look around for one area that you love. It can be small! Love the light when you sit at the kitchen table for supper? Grow that by making the table area clean, clutter-free and adding something pretty as a centerpiece.
3.
Focus on clean and simple. Don’t add things when you are starting out in this process, just simplify and reduce the visual noise. This might mean things like clearing surfaces, editing down what’s in bookcases or on shelves. Even the saddest of rooms looks better pared down a bit. Declutter like it’s your job. Be relentless.
4.
Forget what you can’t change; is there anything small that you *can* quickly and simply change out? Bedding, accessories, some throw pillows, a new wall hanging… these relatively small changes can add some life back into your home without changing anything about the room itself. And you don’t have to necessarily go shopping – think about what you already have in your home that is maybe forgotten in another room.
5.
Remember that you live there, that your life is busy and that homes are always evolving and changing. It’s okay to have things unfinished, in-process or not even on your radar yet.
6.
Focus on one small area at a time. It doesn’t have to be an entire room, either. Pretty front porch? Cozy little reading chair area? Adorable coffee station? Spa-like bathtub area? Don’t worry about the whole house, create islands of space that you love. These have the potential to create ripples for you, where you find yourself moving outward and fine-tuning things from there, but if not *that’s okay, too*.
7.
Consider the concept of ‘focal points’ and how easily they distract from everything else. Add something to the room that is brightly colored, oversized, or with a bold pattern. This could be a statement piece of art, a set of throw pillows, a painted table, a mirror with an ornate frame, anything that is bigger and sort of visually takes over the room (what you look at when you first walk into the room and what really sets the tone for the space).
8.
Make peace with the idea that your home is a place for you and your family to be at home. When this is your focus, you can start to relax. So much of our dis-ease with our homes tends to come from the place of worrying what other people are thinking or how people must think *we* are, because of what our *home* is. News flash: no one thinks you are a crappy person if you live in a crappy home. Take your crappy home and love it, make it yours, and what people will think is that you are a loving, cool person with confidence and an amazing personal style. Mic drop.
9.
It is what it is. Make that your mantra. Get it tattooed on your inner wrist. (Don’t do that.) Print it out and hang it on your fridge. Make it your phone wallpaper. Heck, make it your real wallpaper if you want… you do you. It just freaking is whatever it is. Clean it up, make a bit of a haven, start to evolve your style, and Love. Your. Home! Life’s too short to hate your home, it really is. Too much negative energy and strife is wrapped up in hating a home. Let it go.
10.
Don’t dismiss the invisible design elements: sunshine, great lamp light, music & fresh air.
11.
Bring in some ‘you’. Something you love, you favorite color, frame a picture of a place you love off the internet and put it in a little frame, doodle your dog’s name and tuck it in a frame, put a little plant in your granny’s teapot, whatever you love and is going to make you smile, you need a little of that in your home. Sometimes I find when someone doesn’t love their home, they resist attaching themselves to it, and this only amplifies the problem. In my experience, making a little peace with where you are at, just as it is, includes letting some of the things you love exist there, and letting yourself feel comfortable and happy in your home. Check in with yourself and see if you are resisting bonding with your own home, you might be surprised!
12.
Your vibe attracts your tribe. If you are happy, comfortable, relaxed and at ease in your home, everyone who comes over will feel that as well. I know this isn’t a design strategy, but I want you to know that when you take care of yourself, give yourself some grace and allow yourself to make your home a cozy, happy place… people will feel that. Do what you need to do to make yourself as comfortable and proud of your home as you can, warts and all.